How to create a calm birth space at home or hospital
- Amy
- May 8
- 5 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
You may have heard it time and time again, or this may be new to you, that being relaxed through childbirth can be really beneficial. Who wouldn't want to feel calm and in control rather than scared or tensed when they welcome their new baby or babies into the world? Your environment can play a big part in how you feel and thus, how childbirth can unfold. Now, I'm not saying your environment is going to dictate how birth will go, but making it optimal can only help.

How does being relaxed help with childbirth?
Have you ever had achy, sore shoulders only to realise that you've been hunched up for ages? That tension doesn't feel good, right? It makes movement more difficult and you can get tired very quickly.
Now your uterus is a big muscle. If it is tense, it can make contractions more intense and the pushing may not be quite as effective. A quick example for you to try. Hold your hand up and open and close the fingers as if your hand is a puppet, do this for a few rounds. Feeling ok? Now tense your hand, make those muscles really tight, and try opening and closing again, whilst the muscles are tense. How does that feel? Hard? Hurts more? Can't do it as well? (There's a video here for this).
So this is what may be happening to the uterus if you're all tense. Being relaxed makes the process more tolerable, and possibly a bit less intense. Being relaxed increases the levels of oxytocin, which is the driving force behind contractions.
If you're planning on having a caesarean, the environment can still make a difference to how you feel. Having your baby come into the world, whether that's vaginally or caesarean, having that oxytocin running through their body can help them feel calmer too.
What does your environment have to do with feeling relaxed?
Picture this: you're at a spa, in a lovely, warm room. You're laid on a table with a heated blanket on, ready for a nourishing massage (or treatment of your choice). There is some relaxing music on, some calming sounds of waves in the background. The lights are dimmed. The room smells of the soothing aromas of the massage oils. There's a gentle knock on the door, a soft voice asking whether you're ready for your treatment. You reply, lazily, that you are. You feel all blissful, your body relaxed as you patiently wait. Then the therapist turns on some bright lights directly overhead, and lights a horrid-smelling candle. Then she touches you with hands that feel like she's been sat in a freezer for the past hour.
What happens in your body? Do you feel more tense? You suddenly feel uncomfortable, that relaxed feeling, those lovely sensations are suddenly gone. You want it to end before it's even gotten going.
As mammals giving birth, we are drawn to private, dimly lit spaces where we feel warm and safe. Where we feel unobserved. You can help create this kind of space yourself, whether you're at home, in the birth-centre, or in the hospital (delivery room or theatre).

Ways to create a calm birth space
Aromatherapy
Smells are amazing anchors for us. Smells are considered a powerful component of our memories. Think of a perfume that reminds you of your grandmother. A flower that reminds you of your wedding day. Whatever it is, we can usually think of examples.
If you have a favourite scent, you can use this during pregnancy and birth. Essential oils are great and there are many benefits to their uses. However, some are not recommended for during pregnancy but are great for during childbirth- please seek professional advice before using. When choosing a scent, make sure it is something that can be used if you are transferred to or plan to give birth in hospital.

Dim lighting
Dim lighting can make us feel safe and cosy. Not to mention when your baby enters from their darkened water world, it is much nicer for them to adjust. It can help boost those oxytocin levels. When at home, consider lamps, fairy lights, candlelight. Most midwife-led units/birthing centres have adjustable lighting too. In hospital rooms and theatres, this can also be adjusted upon request (though it may not be as welcomed, it is your birth after all!). If you'd like, an eye mask may be an option, or placing a blanket over you to create a little den (though this may get warm). Whatever that can help that you feel comfortable doing.

Music, sounds
Whether you're into metal, 80s pop or even handpans, music and sounds have their place. Whether it's to get your groove on to keep you moving or something more calming to keep you relaxed. You may even flit between the two. Having recordings of relaxation scripts and/or affirmations can also be useful to maintain focus and your confidence can also be helpful.

Pillows, blankets and soft textures
Ahh, that soft and cosy environment, laying on sumptuous pillows and being wrapped in a blanket that smells like home (or whatever scent you choose). It can give you all the feelings of safety and comfort. Not to mention, that when your baby is born, they will be enveloped in the smell of you and home. You can make a little cosy nest at home or in the MLU. This nest can be taken with you if you're transferring to hospital, to help keep you in the zone. Just make sure that you use colourful pillowcases so they don't get mixed up with the hospitals (top tip I learned from Clare, my teacher at LushTums).

Photos/Visualisations
When you think of your favourite place or your happy place, how does it make you feel? I'm guessing, calm and relaxed. Having these moments to look at or visualise, can really enhance those hormones needed for birth. It can help you escape the space you are in, especially if that is a hospital room or theatre. Whether you have photos of a place that you have been, a photo of loved ones, you can have multiple and string them up around the room you're in, or have it to hand if you choose to have a caesarean.

Your birth team (partner specifically)
Now you've made the room calm and inviting, the people in it can bring their energy into the space, even if they try to be quiet and stay out of the way, which, is not very helpful when you're giving birth. Your partner can really help keep you focused and grounded. If they understand the birth process and understand what you might need, they can help out, sometimes, before you even request something. They can advocate for you, they can make suggestions if you find yourself struggling. Ultimately, they are there for you, to support you. When we feel supported, we feel like we can achieve anything.
So there we go. These are just a few ideas to get you thinking about your birthing environment. You can get creative and most of it can be taken into hospital. What helps you to relax?
Let me know any of your ideas in the comments!
Amy xx

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